A teenager has shared extracts from a diary she wrote when she was just seven years old – and it will have you in stitches.
Madie Cardon, 16, from Mapleton, Utah, proved that love can hurt at any age after she rediscovered a pink spiral notebook filled with hilarious entries about her unrequited playground crush.
Madie wrote in an over-the-top fashion that she was “done with boys” after the guy she fancied started eyeing up one of her classmates.
“Found my diary from when I was 7, I'm dying,” she wrote on Twitter on Monday along with two crying-from-laughter emojis.
The comical post, which included pictures of her journal, has already racked up over 34,000 likes.
In the first diary entry, dated 13 February 2008, and written in wobbly pink ink, Madie offloads her relationship woes.
“Dear Diary, I don't know if I can do this anymore. I think I have depression,” she writes dramatically, dotting each of her i's with little circles.
“Today at school my crush Riley was chasing other girls on the playground! I thought he liked me.
“And guess who he was chasing! Jessica! She is such a player! She hugs at least five boys every day! I am so mad at her.”
She added: “I think I will tell Riley her secret. She wears pull ups! After he finds out he won’t like her anymore.”
Unfortunately, in the next entry, penned on Valentine’s Day in 2008, things get worse for lovesick Madie.
“My depression is getting strong. Today is Valentine's Day. I made Riley a Valentine. Me and Katelyn stayed up all night makin it,” she wrote.
“Before Riley got to school I put it in his desk. When he got to school he looked in his desk he found my box.
“I wrote anonymous on it so he wouldn’t know it was from me. Right when he looked at it [he threw] it away. I am still crying. I have depression.”
In the final entry, dated 15 February 2008, Madie concludes the emotional saga in a sensational manner: “Worst day ever. Riley told me he likes Jessica. I am done with boys. I want to kill them all.”
Alongside her words she doodled a stick woman shooting boys with a pink gun.
Despite the melodramatic scenes, Madie said she doesn’t remember writing the angst-ridden diary.
She told Buzzfeed: “I just remember having meetings with my friends after school on how to get revenge on Jessica, and on Valentine’s Day I remember just going home and bawling.”
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